So Long
"I Kissed Dating Goodbye" - I tell you, it's impossible. For me, that is, because I've never dated.
Never dated, and never plan to take up a short-term dating lifestyle. The foolishness of fragmenting one's heart by a multitude of intimate relationships has been pretty well instilled in me. I've been convinced for a while of the wisdom of a hands-off courtship. Purity is not something to mess around with.
Though I figured I'd basically agree with the book's premise, I decided to read it anyway. Let's see if I can pass on a bit of the gold, mixed with my thoughts. (Some of the following may be direct quotes from the book even if not quotation-marked.)
Love before (and after, too, for that matter) marriage should not be superficial, but should "[abound] in depth of insight." A person "in love" should be able to analyze their motivations for thinking and acting the way they do in relation to the "loved."
Short-term dating is not sin, of itself, but it is not the best way. We should always strive for the best - we fail enough as it is, without knowingly inhibiting choices for the best.
A hands-off policy does not only serve to stop a downhill progression of behavior - it may be necessary to keep the lovers from impure thoughts.
If a dating relationship is unlikely to end in marriage, it is wasting much time that could be used to grow in other areas and serve other people.
I liked the concept of "obedience with abandon" - selling out completely on my self, giving God everything. If I've given God everything, then I will be content with my current lot in life, realizing it is preparing me for things ahead, realizing that if I knew what God knows, I wouldn't even want to be in the future at my current maturity level.
Waiting is usually required to obtain "things that are truly worthwhile."
It was interesting to think of singleness as a "seasonal" gift from God. For some reason, I used to think of the gifts of singleness and marriage as not occurring in the same person. I and most of my close friends currently have the gift of singleness, but God may grant the gift of marriage to many of them - hence both gifts in one life. I know that's not very profound, but I'd never thought if it in that way.
Dating can actually remove some of the gifts of singlehood by distracting our focus from God. It is probably (much) worse than marriage in that regard.
On page 83, Harris presents a quote by William Booth that sums up my concern for a lot of Mennonite girls. I have an aversion to the use of the word "fool," but here's the quote: "'Don't instill, or allow anybody else to instill into the hearts of your girls the idea that marriage is the chief end of life. If you do, don't be surprised if they get engaged to the first empty, useless fool they come across.'" Pretty sad, pretty sad.
"Living a pure life before God requires the teamwork of your heart and your feet." (p. 92)
One of my main challenges for the present is keeping God in the center of my attention, allowing His desires to direct my life. If I do that, it seems like everything else will fall into place.
Never dated, and never plan to take up a short-term dating lifestyle. The foolishness of fragmenting one's heart by a multitude of intimate relationships has been pretty well instilled in me. I've been convinced for a while of the wisdom of a hands-off courtship. Purity is not something to mess around with.
Though I figured I'd basically agree with the book's premise, I decided to read it anyway. Let's see if I can pass on a bit of the gold, mixed with my thoughts. (Some of the following may be direct quotes from the book even if not quotation-marked.)
Love before (and after, too, for that matter) marriage should not be superficial, but should "[abound] in depth of insight." A person "in love" should be able to analyze their motivations for thinking and acting the way they do in relation to the "loved."
Short-term dating is not sin, of itself, but it is not the best way. We should always strive for the best - we fail enough as it is, without knowingly inhibiting choices for the best.
A hands-off policy does not only serve to stop a downhill progression of behavior - it may be necessary to keep the lovers from impure thoughts.
If a dating relationship is unlikely to end in marriage, it is wasting much time that could be used to grow in other areas and serve other people.
I liked the concept of "obedience with abandon" - selling out completely on my self, giving God everything. If I've given God everything, then I will be content with my current lot in life, realizing it is preparing me for things ahead, realizing that if I knew what God knows, I wouldn't even want to be in the future at my current maturity level.
Waiting is usually required to obtain "things that are truly worthwhile."
It was interesting to think of singleness as a "seasonal" gift from God. For some reason, I used to think of the gifts of singleness and marriage as not occurring in the same person. I and most of my close friends currently have the gift of singleness, but God may grant the gift of marriage to many of them - hence both gifts in one life. I know that's not very profound, but I'd never thought if it in that way.
Dating can actually remove some of the gifts of singlehood by distracting our focus from God. It is probably (much) worse than marriage in that regard.
On page 83, Harris presents a quote by William Booth that sums up my concern for a lot of Mennonite girls. I have an aversion to the use of the word "fool," but here's the quote: "'Don't instill, or allow anybody else to instill into the hearts of your girls the idea that marriage is the chief end of life. If you do, don't be surprised if they get engaged to the first empty, useless fool they come across.'" Pretty sad, pretty sad.
"Living a pure life before God requires the teamwork of your heart and your feet." (p. 92)
One of my main challenges for the present is keeping God in the center of my attention, allowing His desires to direct my life. If I do that, it seems like everything else will fall into place.
posted by Claire at 17:40
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