Lost? (Brain-wise or Geographically)

On Friday the 19th my church youth group put on a Thanksgiving supper for a number of elderly people. The occasion was to start at 5 pm, so I pretty much made up my mind that I would be late. As it turned out, I was done with classes by 3 pm so I could theoretically have been on time or close to it. Somewhat unfortunately, I had planned to do something at school before leaving for the supper. It was 4 pm or close to it by the time I got to my car. We planned to have the supper at Willard Deardorff's cabin on the banks of Betty Jane Deardorff Reservoir (fed by Beaver Creek). I went there two years ago, but I didn't drive and therefore didn't have a clear idea of how to get there. I also knew that two of our youth sponsors had not been able to find the cabin the first time they looked for it. There are a lot of side roads in that vicinity. Therefore, directions were regarded as somewhat necessary. Upon looking for them in my car, I did not find them (I discovered them later at my week-day home). I trekked back into the vet school and used TopoZone and Mapquest to figure out some general directions for getting to the reservoir (one map had the reservoir marked on it but was not useful when it came to roads; the road map had the reservoir on it, but marked as "Lake" such that I needed the non-road map to figure out the roads I should take). I still didn't know where on the lake the cabin was (I had an idea of the side), but decided to take a chance. By then it was 4:40 - if I went I would be incredibly late. I was somewhat apprehensive, even a little scared (strange for me who usually enjoys trying to find places without all the directions). However, I was expected to go (people would have worried about me if I didn't show) and it would have been sadly depressing to not sing the girls' songs at the occasion. Hence, I (however foolishly) set out for the cabin.
I reached the general vicinity with relative ease. Following my intuition, I headed for the west side of the lake. All went well until I came to a Y. It seemed like left was right, so I headed that way even though there was a "No Trespassing" sign in evidence (I figured we had permission to be at the cabin - but of course I didn't really know if the cabin was down that road). Around that time I received a call from RS on my cell phone - it wasn't long before she cut out. After a while I came to a four-way intersection and my heart failed me - I should have just gone straight - little chance of getting lost that way - but instead I turned around. I reached the Y again, and noticed that it was illegal to go right due to fire danger. So I went left again. I was trekking down that road when I saw a white pick-up coming toward me. There was a young man inside. I thought maybe he would know how to get to the cabin, so slowed down and rolled down my window (in theory that was unwise). On closer scrutiny, I made out the faces of RB (a young man from church) and his girl cousin VB. They had been sent out to find me after my phone cut out. RS had asked if I was lost, and apparently the last thing she heard was "That is a possibility." RB was prepared to go searching down side roads to find me - maybe he was sort of disappointed when he found me actually on the right road to the cabin (if I had kept going at the four way intersection, I would probably have eventually seen the lights of the cabin and have found it - I am a bit chagrined that I did not find it on my own).
Numerous expressed their thankfulness that I finally arrived (it is nice to know that people care about one).

So I made a bunch of people worried, and was 1.5 hours late to boot. All that could have been remedied by leaving soon after classes ended and by remembering to take the directions with me. Uggh! I don't like making people go out of their way to benefit me. Will I ever learn to be completely mature and rational in my actions?

I got there in time to help (?) sing the two girls songs, so that element of potential depression was not realized. The rest of the evening was good - being with my church people can be revitalizing, refreshing.

Both Sides of the Issue

In relation to the previous topic about outsiders leaving conservative Christian churches, I think there are a number of factors involved. Both the outsider and the resident conservative church goers have responsibilities. The outsider has a responsibility to foster a meaningful and true relationship with God that should help him to see the truth of Christianity no matter what other Christians do, no matter how hypocritical, unfriendly, and un-Christlike they are. He should keep a level head and act wisely & with God-given reason - not making reactive or feeling-based decisions.
On the other hand, Christians do have responsibilities to their fellow Christian brothers, maybe especially to those who are new to the church or the faith in general. We are to abstain from activities that could cause them to fall spiritually. We are to exhort, encourage, and admonish the brethren. We are to be truly Christian with truly Christian outlooks on life and people (outlooks entirely based on love of God and love for our fellow men). If "Christians" act no differently than non-Christians, where will people see the power God has to change lives? What evidence will there be that Christians really are different inside as opposed to just following a set of rules? The way we live our lives can be a very real encouragement/discouragement to others. We should not provide any material excuse for those who decide to turn back to their old ways.

Inward/Outward Change

Variations of the following phenomenon are all too frequent: A couple leaves (to some extent) family, friends, and their old life to join a conservative (in practice and belief) Christian church. They seem sincere enough, maybe even becoming more conservative than the average person at the church they have joined. After a number of years they become lax on some of their standards, grow disillusioned with the church, and leave it. They lose their distinctiveness from the world, do not attend another church, and eventually cease to profess Christianity at all. The last is worse than the first. Whose fault is it (theirs, the church's, both, neither)? Were they really sincere Christians to start with, did they honestly have a personal relationship with God? Or were they just into the "careful" and quaint lifestyle, the safer set of influences for their children? Was Christianity only a set of rules that made sense to them and provided a structure for their outward lives apart from a heart change?

Pure Speech

Say there was a bonus question that involved completing a phrase. You remember the phrase from a presentation someone gave, and it is off-color. Would you leave the question blank, write something other than the correct answer, write the correct answer and explain that you didn't agree with such off-color jokes, or do something else?

A Volley of Words

Friday night I played volleyball with my youth group. I had contemplated not going, but there was nothing else to do that night and I had a free ride for the 1.5 hour trip. I know that I need practice with my volleyball skills.
It did me good to go. I practiced the proper, not-so-stupid-looking method of serving the ball and it actually went okay (as long as I compare myself only with my performance and not with that of others).

Saturday morning I met a fellow vet student at a Corvallis diner to help her study cardiology (which I took last year). It was one of those places with old men sitting along the counter probably drinking coffee and talking about the news. That's one of those cultural things that one can just sort of appreciate (not the positive/negative type of appreciation); it goes along with the perceived culture of life in a large city, or life as a Cornish miner, or something. They've got flavor.
I found myself enjoying tutoring and was somewhat surprised at what I was able to explain after a year's absence from some of the subject matter.
My hope is that through tutoring I will be able to strike up closer relationships with some students here. That could lead to increased opportunities to share the Gospel with them. Well, on Saturday such an opportunity may have arisen and I didn't rise to meet it. At one point the two of us were mentioning about how neat cardiology was. It would have been close to a prime opportunity to mention something about how I see God in the intricacies and beauty of living things (which is something I feel deeply about). I wasn't sure if I should/wanted to mention that and the opportunity passed me by. I hope that is not the last of such opportunities.

In Sunday school yesterday the topic was the resurrection of believers from the dead. I guess it was because of that I got to thinking about how Christians believe heaven is going to be free from pain, suffering, etc (because that is what the Bible teaches). On earth our reality involves pain and suffering. I think our feelings of enjoyment and appreciation for good things may largely be defined negatively - in other words, by the "absence of that which is bad". I appreciate sleep more when I have been up late cramming for a test than I do when I have slept 8 hrs/night for a week. Trials increase our appreciation for the smoother times. "Absence [of good] makes the heart grow fonder."
The enjoyment we realize is to some extent based on a baseline, a reference point. It's strange for me to think of a continually good existence.
Another element to this subject is that as Christians we are to "rejoice evermore", give thanks in everything, return good for evil, and work for peace - and we derive pleasure from rising above our carnal instincts and responding to the bad as Christ would. It is fulfilling. In the absence of anything bad, that fulfillment will not be generated.
But it won't need to be, because our existences will be blessed and joyful even if my mortal mind does not currently understand (isn't it a wonderful thing that truth is even though I may not grasp it with full understanding?).

Yesterday we had communion at my church. At the service, I was trying to be in the right mind-set, wanting to partake in a "becoming manner" and appreciate (with my cursory understanding) the sacrifice Christ made for me (it is difficult, no, impossible, to fully appreciate what he went through). We sang the song "Arise, my soul, arise" by Charles Wesley*, and I was strongly affected - "a bleeding sacrifice in my behalf appears" - "forgive them, o, forgive he cries" - "five bleeding wounds he bears, received on Calvary. They pour effectual prayers, they strongly plead for me" (do you sense the love of Christ? does it just fill your soul and send blood to your face, making it more than tingle?). I said this phrase from the song for part of my public testimony "My God is reconciled, His pardoning voice I hear, he owns me for a child." It seems that I received a deep sense of the love of Christ that night (think about it - "he owns me for a child") - is that why I was so deeply moved when I am usually rather stoic with that sort of emotion? (Or was I very afraid that I was not worthy to participate?) Did I receive a glimpse of the grace of God granted to me? Did I see my forgiveness more as something Christ grants to me rather than something I worked for myself? There may have been a sort of spiritual break-through that evening, although I will be careful to declare such with certainty.

*http://jmm.aaa.net.au/articles/12146.htm - I am not condoning anything on this website by placing it here - it is where I got some of the lyrics, and the author name, from "Arise, my soul, arise"

Fenestrations

Fenestrations - or to be gramatically correct, fenestrae. It's Latin for "windows". Others will not benefit from our inward musings, from our joys and trials in life, unless we thrust our heads through the casements or allow others to peer inside. This blog is a window into my life and thoughts - a window composed at times of obscure glass, at others of relatively clear.
In biology fenestrae are the gaps between endothelial cells that line blood capillaries. They facilitate the transfer of fluid and ions between the intravascular space and the surrounding tissues. This is necessary for the maintenance of homeostasis within the organism. In inflammatory conditions the fenestrae increase in size, allowing immune defense cells to exit the blood and travel where they are needed. I hope this window will provide some spark of life-giving truth, some bit of salt to flavor the earth (see Matthew 5). I hope the arguments set forth will only benefit readers rather than working destruction. (Those last two comments are supposed to relate to the biological information.)
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