More than the Letter

Instead of focusing on being guiltless, focus on pleasing God.

My minister RW so encouraged us yesterday morning. It's a good reminder - doing what seems like the "bare minimum" really isn't doing that. One whose heart is truely all for God will go far beyond.

Praise Where It Is Due

My chances of going home to an empty house on weekdays have been drastically decreased - my "houseparents" returned last night from their 7 week trip that encompassed Mexico, the Grand Canyon, and John Day, OR.

Today I went to the Oregon Academy of Science 2005 Annual Meeting. My primary interest was to visit a fellow alumna from my alma mater, George Fox University. There were side benefits, such as listening to research talks (liposomal storage disorders anyone? or how about a Helicobacter pylori protein?) and seeing science faculty/one student from GFU.
Kudos to the GFU science profs - they're pretty neat.
Eg:
Mark Doyle, who taught my first biology course, helped me get research positions in the Beth Habecker and Virginia Brooks labs, and just generally believed in me.
Dwight Kimberly, who gave students 20 pts extra credit for eating a fresh (dead) snail. I wasn't that worried about my grades.
Don Powers, my animal physiology professor who told me grades didn't matter all that much and that he went to Hawaii in the middle of one of his college terms because he didn't want to miss the chance (I think the trip was biology-related). It didn't hurt his career as far as I can tell (he is the department head).
Trent Smith, who didn't chastise me when I couldn't give my Senior Seminar presentation at the assigned time. He even let me improve the presentation before I finally gave it.
Michael Everest, who read liturgical prayers in analytical chemistry class (once we sang a Taize chant). He taught by example the proper method for disposing of dry erase pens: he threw one backwards over his head toward the ceiling, from which it rebounded, hit the wall a short distance above the trash can, and met its destiny.
Carlisle Chambers - I can still remember him saying with great feeling, "I lovve chemistry."

1/365

February 25, 2005 - the month is as it should be, the square root of the day is a whole number, the day can be divided into 100 with no remainder, and if you delete the two zeros from 2005 you get 25. I am partial to the month and day (not the year so much - it reminds me that I am aging) because 21 years ago I experienced air for the first time.

A day in the life...
8 am-12 noon: occupied a rolling chair in Magruder 298. Topics of the day included antifungals, antimetabolites, tuberculosis in Michigan deer (as relates to epidemiology), analysis of kidney function.
12 - 1 pm: exercised
1:15 - 2:30 pm: played something akin to ultimate frisbee with some schoolmates. It was a rewarding activity - I was actually sore by the time we finished.
2:30 - 4:00 pm: items of little interest to you

As if they were Christ...

There are three main interpersonal relationships discussed in Ephesians 5 & 6 - man/wife, parent/child, and master/servant. In each of these, the latter is to submit in some way to the former. As long as each person is a servant of God with godly goals and Christian love, it should be relatively easy for the underling to submit. Hmmm... But then there wouldn't be much to challenge us and make us grow. It's like the verse: "For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?" Matt 5:46 Don't pat yourself on the back if you find it easy to submit to your Christian parents who rarely require anything of you that doesn't make sense. The Christian way goes far beyond - beyond to treating others (including the humanly "unlovable") as if they were Christ. ("Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me." Matt 25:40b) It is the practical manifestation of my love for God. The more I see Christ (not in terms of godly qualities) in others, the more my attitudes toward and responses to them should change. I should love them as God loves them - unselfishly, just because they are them. Such practical love will enable me to submit where submitting is due.

Love's Manifestations

Last evening I went to a Bible study with some people connected to the vet school + some who aren't. The studies are held every Wednesday but I usually go < every other week - on my "off weeks" I go to a Mennonite prayer meeting/study.
Anyway, last night we delved into parts of Ephesians 5 & 6 and some really good discussion ensued.
Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church. Does it follow that husbands are to help their wives be more spiritually perfect? It depends on whether the analogy (Christ/church compared to husband/wife) is to be drawn straight across from one relationship to the other. It might be possible to consider the duties of a man for his wife as earthly while the duties of Christ for the church are spiritual. I think that would be the case for a non-Christian man. For a Christian man, part of caring for himself involves maintaining his spiritual well-being*. Therefore, if he treats his wife as he treats himself he will be solicitous for her spiritual well-being.
The wife is be no means off the hook. 1 Peter 3:1 states that an unbelieving husband might be won to Christ because of the way his wife lives. This aspect of a wife's role in her husband's spiritual well-being seems passive - is that the entire role she has? My immediate answer is "No," but I should investigate it more.

*As a sort of side note, a man is supposed to love his wife as he loves himself. I suppose that ultimately a man should maintain his spiritual well-being because of his love for God and not (at least not primarily) his love for himself.

Foal Watch

I spent last night in an RV parked next to the theriogenology barn at the vet school. I was on foal watch.

Dr. Michelle Kutzler started an equine reproduction program last spring, and she wanted someone around each night to keep an eye on the mares (most mares foal between 10 pm and 8 am). Being part of the theriogenology club, I signed up a while ago to donate my night to the cause. I was about ready to leave my parents' at ~9 pm when one of my classmates called to say that Rosie was having her baby. All was completed by the time I arrived an hour later, but I got to learn a couple foal-related techniques and asked Dr. Kutzler questions (she's a good teacher).
So, I was blessed with a somewhat eventful night without the stress that could have occurred if Rosie had foaled after 10 pm when I would have been the only one there. I actually got a reasonable amount of sleep.

Consumer Attitude

A little over a week ago I stopped by my old research advisor's office to give her my lab notebook. She invited me to stay and talk, and we eventually got on the subjects of teaching methodology and a prevalent student attitude. She is concerned by what she calls a "consumer attitude" in students. This attitude describes those who want to receive the subject matter without much investigative effort. My professor's desire for students is that they go beyond what is fed to them, that they seek to engage the material from more than one angle. It bothers her that students don't go to her with questions about the material.
My discussion with her was a good challenge for me. I also have a consumer attitude. It's easiest to take what is given you, spend time to learn it, and not go beyond. Granted, there's more to life than school, but I plan to make an extra effort to be a true scholar.

For her systemic pathology topics, CL is interested in having us read her notes before class and then using class time to either answer questions that have arisen or to teach the material from a different angle (ie give us notes that start with etiology and lead to physical signs, then lecture starting with physical signs and leading to etiology (which is more like what we'll be doing in practice)). I think students will complain about the self-taught aspect, but it will be good for them if they (myself included!) go along with it.

Friday Evenings

I tend to stall with reference to going home Friday evenings. It's partly the prospect of an empty house with nothing much interesting to do. So I stay at school, am too burned out to do school work + have nothing pressing to complete for the next day, and end up working on my webpages/reading stuff on the internet. (How's that for a motivated vet student?)

Life Bits

On Tuesday I sent in an abstract for the Society for Theriogenology student case presentation competition which will occur in August. It would be a great opportunity to present there - new experiences are right down my alley.

Sometimes I have trouble recognizing people, trouble putting the face with the association. Yesterday I was on campus away from the veterinary compound and someone called my name. I recognized the face as familiar and responded as if I knew the person. Meanwhile, my mind raced to find his identity. It eventually dawned on me that we worked together last summer for the vet school library. I recalled quickly enough to make a relevant statement/question based on my knowledge of his schooling. I wonder if he noticed my initial lack of full recognition.

On a different note, he is a Christian engineering major who plans to work for the army. We talked about Christianity last summer, but I never challenged his plan of occupation. Should I have?

Twilight, dusk, and evening

Twilight sounds romantic. Dusk suggests a cold lengthening shadow. Evening is calm. How will my older years be characterized?

Two issues about old age: boredom and personality.
I've heard it said that the way you are when you are young will amplify when you get older. Sunday I sang at a retirement home and a rest home with some others from my church. At the retirement home one old lady allowed herself to become exceedingly offended by a suggestion from one of the other old ladies. She whipped her walker around, hurried off down the hall, and looked back to sort of yell some defensive statement. Whooaaa. Do I have bad attitudes that will manifest themselves when the inhibitions of a (somewhat) sound mind depart? Will things that I currently do in fun become constant, annoying habits when I am old?

At the rest home I spent some time talking to an 80-something lady. She used to try something new every year, she used to always be busy, she didn't think she had ever wasted a day in her life. Now, living in the rest home where most of the people probably aren't as with it as she is, she finds life to be boring. I think there is a better place for most old people than rest homes, and I dread the day when I might end up in one. Is there any way to keep one's "twilight" years from being monotonous? On the one hand, leading an interesting and full life when I am able will give me interesting memories to reminisce about in the future. On the other hand, if I am accustomed to a busy and interesting life, existence in a wheelchair may be unbearable without much willpower.

This topic reminds me of the hymn, "Crossing the bar" by Alfred, Lord Tennyson. The tune I have heard suggests a calmness about the end of life - a calmness that I am sure would be enhanced by a pleasant (most importantly in spirit) senescence.

Ante-test Music Revisted

Yay for Handel's Messiah! I got my diagnostic imaging test back, and it was good. Of course, with an 'n' of 1 I can't prove that my test performance was directly related to the music. I have other anecdotal evidence to support my hypothesis (see last Wednesday's post), but it wouldn't hold up if submitted to a peer-reviewed journal.

Past and Gone

What? lots of things. Time goes on and you leave things that are dear to you. Time goes on and that which was once dear to you becomes not so dear. Time goes on and the once-dear becomes a memory largely disconnected from your life. Time is a great healer. What remains after time has gone on is a sense of missed fulfillment, but it is tolerable. (Case in point: losing my 4.0 GPA to Animal Physiology in undergrad.)

My first thought when writing the title was not of nostalgia, but rather of a presentation that has been completed. I suppose that it went okay - although when asked what to test when a granulosa cell tumor is suspected in a horse I did not think of inhibin. I am not a pro at thinking on the spot, and my <4 hrs of sleep did not help. My classmates were really supportive about the presentation (there are a lot of neat people in my life who serve to encourage me - it's great).

Around noon I went to a presentation about equine polysaccharide storage myopathy (EPSM). I wonder if it bothered the presenter to have a world(?)'s authority on the subject in the room. Just google "Beth Valentine" and "EPSM" and you'll see what I mean.

I am going to apply for a summer research position in the Biomedical Sciences Department of the vet school. I worked there last summer and I hope I can continue with my old project in addition to the new project they might give me. That might remove one unfulfilled memory.

Lateness of the Hour

It's 8:33 and I'm sitting in the computer lab scanning pictures for a presentation I am to give tomorrow at 11 am (for those of you who don't know, I am an inveterate procrastinator). I still have to put the presentation together and practice it and type a handout.
There's a phrase that was going through my head lately: maybe something like "When the going gets tough, then the tough get going." It might be part of a song by my father: There was a wise old ape and he lived by a lake and he thought that he would teach himself to swim. The apes would laugh and shout as he would sputter about as they watched all of his efforts from a limb.
What you say and do is nothing to me. I'm gonna work and work until I succeed. I know the more I try the better I'll be. I can do it, do it, do it, do it, do it!" (It's a lot better when you know the tune.)
Obviously, the going wouldn't be as tough if I wasn't as much of a procrastinator...

Modification made 2/19: So much for my knowledge of political history. Dad read this post and informed me that the above quote is from John F. Kennedy. The ape song contains something like "when the going gets a little bit rough, it's time for me to get a little bit tough. If I work hard I can learn lots of stuff..." I changed part of the song in the body of this post per my dad's correction.

Ante-test Music

Classical music is purported to improve mental capability. Sometimes I listen to it in the car in the time prior to a test. (During finals week last term I may have listened to nothing else until the last final was done.) It may be beneficial - I don't know.

Today I had a test in diagnostic imaging*. Pre-test music: Handel's Messiah. Result: Part of the piece was going through my head during part of the test. I wonder if that distraction outweighed the benefits from listening to classical music.
Of course, it might have been better to have Handel's Messiah running through my head than a song by the (mostly) a capella group Rescue (as was the case during my pathology test last week).
Maybe no pre-test music would be best.

*The test style was gnarly - it was multiple choice with the possibility of multiple correct choices for each question. If we chose a wrong answer points will be subtracted beyond whatever we lose by not choosing the right answer.

Internal Response

I need to work on my internal responses to criticism. Sunday evening during youth chorus practice we were trying "And the Glory of the Lord" from Handel's Messiah. I have sung along with a CD of it numerous times, but was not getting the third soprano run. Apparently the other sopranos weren't either, and help was supplied by our director. Obviously, it was right of him to correct us because we were off key, but inwardly I resented it.

I should be more emotionally resigned to the facts that I cannot read music quickly and accurately nor excel in volleyball nor play the piano with expertise. It should not be necessary to me to be better than/as good as everyone else. Part of pride is feeling that I am better than others - probably another part is feeling that I deserve to be better even if I am not. Both aspects are focused on me more than on God and others.*

(Of course, I should not diminish my efforts to improve. When poor performance results from lack of concentration and diligence (which was probably the case to some extent Sunday night), I should be chagrined and resolve to do better.)

* One or more of the thoughts are a twist on something I heard elsewhere.

Hiking in the Gorge

Saturday my brother, mother and I went hiking in the Columbia River Gorge. My brother's initial plan (to hike part of the Tanner Butte Trail: http://www.nwhiker.com/Hike24CD2.html) was thwarted by an inability to find it. We ended up hiking on the Eagle Creek Trail, which was definitely worth it. We saw some fantastic nature, nature that tells you a little more about God because He created it. We turned back before the High Bridge as the hour was late.

Have a look for yourself (I really liked the Punchbowl - unfortunately I did not find a picture taken from above as we saw it):

http://www.oregonhiking.com/photos/195.htm
http://www.trailsnw.com/hikedescription.php?hike_name=Eagle%20Creek
http://www.splintercat.org/EagleCreek/EagleTour.html
http://www.splintercat.org/EagleCreek/EagleMap.html

The Goings On

With my systemic pathology test out of the way, I am more free to look forward without reservation to my brother's impending visit. I haven't seen him for 5+ months, so I am very excited.

At noon I led a Bible study for the veterinary students, faculty, etc. My concern was to facilitate discussion as opposed to dominating the stage and preaching to them (which I would consider to be unscriptural because I am a female and there were men in the group). I was also worried that people wouldn't say enough.
Well, I don't know if I was out of my female place in leading the study. I'll have to think about it more. I fell into my rut of speaking too softly for those across the room to hear - something for me to work on.
People did say things, which was great. They were more motivated than the 9-12 year olds to whom I teach Sunday school (my SS group can be very motivated to talk - about ice storms and dead animals and not usually the lesson).

Filthy Rag Righteousness

Now, about the story in the Companions... it concerned a girl who regarded herself as better than others. Her dress pattern was well within the standards of the church. She would never wear perfume like some other girl. She drove 50 mph instead of 55 and gloried in it. She scorned the other girls at the church for eating junk food. She was reading through the Bible in a year and rejoiced to think that she would soon have read through the Bible twice (and how many people had even read through it once?).
Well, such was I - very much like that. There was probably little of a changed heart behind it all, not much true love for my fellow men. "Though I [lots of things].... and have not charity, I am nothing."

I do wonder how I will analyze my present condition six years from now. Hindsight is often better than foresight.

Calf Pulling

I got to see my first calf pulling last night! If you can't understand my excitement, remember that I am a vet student and we also get excited about "neat lesions" in pathology lab.
Last night I had settled down to procrastinate a bit by reading the Companions (a Mennonite youth/adult Sunday school paper). A truck drove up behind the house, and I (correctly) assumed it was someone coming to check on the beef cattle in a pasture nearby. After some time the person came up to the house to ask for warm water. One of the cows was trying to calve and he thought the calf was upside down. Hearing that I was a vet student (who had never pulled a calf), he said I could come watch - so I took him up on it.
Shortly, another truck pulled in. The new arrival used to live on a dairy and had helped maybe a hundred cows calve (unlike the first person who had never pulled a calf). Arrivals 1 & 2 went to drive the cow up to the shed. Not long after another truck pulled in with the first person's dad and brother. The cow was driven into the shed and tied to a post on the periphery (after considering another post more in the middle of the shed and deciding against it due to the weight of hay in the loft - if the cow pulled the post out, we might not fare well) and arrival #2 prepared the calf and cow for pulling. It turned out the calf was breech (ie backwards), and he decided to go ahead and pull it that way instead of trying to turn it around. He tied baling twine to the hooves, and applied brute force until the calf came through. They hung it from a diving wall (it was rather limp) and he got it to sneeze.
This morning I went out to get a flashlight I had left in the shed, and the calf seemed to be doing well.