No shirt, no shoes, no smile, no service

Before departing for home, I'll leave you with some lyrics to a song that has long been a Varney family favorite/classic/something. It's from the muscial Annie*. Genuine smiles can work wonders.

You're never fully dressed without a smile

Hey, hobo man
Hey, Dapper Dan
You've both got your style
But Brother,
You're never fully dressed
Without a smile!

Your clothes may be
Beau Brummelly
They stand out a mile,
But Brother,
You're never fully dressed
Without a smile!

Who cares what they're wearing
On Main Street,
Or Saville Row,
It's what you wear from ear to ear
And not from head to toe that matters!...

* Please don't take this post as an approval of the play.

School Stuff

This morning in epidemiology I gave (along with CB) my last presentation for the school year. The point was to convince the class to start using some new technique/something - we did ours on a new feline leukemia virus vaccine made by Merial. It is given by a needle-less injection device; based on a live recombinant canarypox vector (which provides the body with better immunity); and contains no adjuvant (a substance added to a vaccine to increase the immune response mounted against the virus; adjuvants may be associated with a vaccine-associated cancer).

Did any of you read the Magic School Bus books when you were young? I used to think they were pretty neat, and was reminded of them (particularly The Magic School Bus Inside the Human Body) today while observing endoscopy on a horse. We looked into the trachea, esophagus and guttural pouch*, and a number of us got to drive the endoscope.


* The guttural pouch is a diverticulum off the horse's eustachian tube. It contains a couple nerves, part of the hyoid apparatus, and the external and internal carotid arteries. Guttural pouches are important clinically partly because they can host fungal growth that erodes through the carotid artery.

How to Spend $70

Shopping - it's a nice thought in theory, but the reality is a somewhat frustrating and fruitless venture. My mother (and I am sincerely thankful to her, don't get me wrong) gave my $70 worth of these Meier and Frank coupon card things, so yesterday I stopped at the store on my way to school. Not like I really needed anything, but when you have free "money" that will be worth nothing by the next day, you might as well use it (within reason).
I wonder if I looked a bit aimless as I circulated around the ladies' clothing department - I found the general tone to be rather lacking in taste and modesty and therefore did not stop long at any item. $70 to spend, little need, little for sale that would fit my standards - the results? A couple pairs of socks that are, well, a bit (?) stranger than what I normally wear; a purple (!) backpack (because it was on clearance and my other backpacks are as follows: magenta/green that used to have a picture of Grimmy on it (something my dad got from David Levitan, an artist who did artwork for one of my dad's CDs); proper color with arm strap tearing out; proper color with incapacitated zippers); and some white shoes that I am actually pretty pleased with.

Ah, well, I did have a bit of fun - and if nothing else it gave me an itch to start sewing.

Horsepower 2

This morning, CB and I went to an organic, partially horse-powered farm in Scio ("oh, no, Claire's really loosing it - no chaise and four yet, but that's got to be the next thing!" Naw, I give myself credit for greater level-headedness than that).
The farm owner, Lisa Hubbe, has a pair of Belgians, a Percheron, and a Belgian w/ 1/4 Brabant blood (Brabants are the European style of Belgians - they're stockier than the American Belgians and thus better suited to farm work). We didn't get to drive her team, but asked a bunch of questions and observed her driving prowess. Andy could learn a lot from her team - they performed some impressive backing, were capable of standing still for 10+ minutes without a person at the lines, and didn't do any head-tossing nonsense.

As you may have assumed, Lisa farms with horses partly because they are a renewable energy source. I have implied this before, but people should think seriously about sustainable energy sources. If that thinking leads them to farm with draft horses, great. If they outfit their farm to obtain electricity from cow manure methane, great. If they research hydrogen-powered vehicles or soybean-derived biodiesel (Henry Ford would have been pleased; this link is pretty humorous, but read with discretion), also great. What they should not do is fail to think. And once they have thought and have produced a good option, they should not fail to act.

If you feel that you are currently incapable of deep thinking, you are not off the hook. There are a lot of common sense protocols that should be implemented by the general populace to conserve resources (not just energy resources, but land, building, and manufacturing resources). Limit food items purchased in disposable plastic, use energy-saving light bulbs, carpool to events - plain and simple conservation, recycling, and stewardship. (Hmm, I have a ways to go.)

Infrared Cameras et al

Yesterday two students did a presentation about thermography, a diagnosing modality that basically takes pictures of heat. During the question period I asked if there were any side-effects to the method - which was essentially like asking if it could harm people to take normal pictures of them. The thermograph camera doesn't produce anything that physically interacts with the subject. My breach in cognition went unnoticed as far as I know, but I felt rather dumb.

This morning, CB, RH and I presented about smallpox in public health. It's a disease with a lot of interesting history behind it - the first case we have evidence of was Rameses V (Egypt, 1157 BC); at some point in history, essentially every adult in Europe had experienced small pox; it changed the course of history by wiping out the Incas and Aztecs. It is the only disease ever to have been eradicated.

I purchased my tickets for going to PA this summer... guess there's little room for backing out now. The money has been spent and it's a done deal, however wise or foolish. It's sort of weird to spend the equivalent of one term's earnings (~$450) on a plane ticket and event registration. However, I think the trip will be valuable and I aim to kill three birds with one stone: attend the Faith Builders Educational Programs college student retreat, visit the Honorable Matthew Christopher Varney, and attend DA's wedding in Michigan. As a bonus I will get to meet some main characters from the MVarney Chronicles.

The trip might be one of the craziest things I will have done - but, hey, I said life gets better with age, right? Better, and crazier.

Graduation and Awards

I went to the Brownsville Mennonite School graduation yesterday. I was reminded that it's a little sad how I'm growing up, becoming so old, passing this era of my life... However, I hold out that life has gotten better with my years, and by no means would I want to be stuck at one level of responsibility and maturity for the rest of my life. I may feel nostalgic, but over all I am glad that time goes on.

This afternoon was the awards ceremony for the College of Veterinary Medicine. Here's some advice: if you ever go to vet school and want to maximize your potential for receiving awards, become interested in dogs (purebred dogs, agility training, etc), horses and camelids; be compassionate and caring; be in the top 8% of your class; do a lot of leadership; and be a mentor to other students.

Chances are there will be little of interest posted here for the next 2 weeks. Please don't give up on me - I'll be back in fuller force after school lets out.

Cantar, Leer, Hablar

Most of my youth group drove to Marysville, WA on Saturday to give a singing program at New Hope Mennonite Church on Sunday. I didn't want to take time off work, so I sort of planned to drive up Sunday morning. I thought I would go it alone, but thankfully PG and PS permitted me to join them.

So, yesterday morning I arose at the delightful hour of 3:45 am. We departed from Barlow Rd, Canby around 5, made really good time and reached Marysville over an hour before the service (hm, guess I could have slept another hour :) ).

Over the course of Sunday's travels I finished reading "How Should We Then Live" by Francis Schaeffer - it was about time! I tended to agree with some (perhaps many) of his philosophical viewpoints and I understand his point about the lack of absolutes messing up world systems. The salt of Christian beliefs may benefit a society through its effects on government. Those effects, however, will largely be indirect because a Christian would not be able to conscientiously fill most "ruling" government offices. My Christian calling is not to right the governments of the world but rather to further God's kingdom, one that is in this world, in people's hearts, but not of this world. God is ultimately concerned with eternal souls - it is not of primary importance to him whether the U.S. is a democracy or a totalitarian dictatorship. In a free country, Christians have liberty to share the gospel but become sedentary in their faith; in a Communist country, Christians may be persecuted for witnessing but they are more constantly made to ponder what their faith really means to them. There are blessings and curses either way.

As for the time in Marysville, it was enjoyable. The high note in "And the Glory of the Lord" seemed to cut it, and I didn't forget and sing any men's parts in "When the Ransomed Get Home." It was good to see S & J H (it's really nice to see them more often now that they're back from PR - we were quite deprived of their presence for a number of years :) ) and speak with Hannah and Ruth Champagne (see previous post), JH, BH, VB, etc.

It's down to the home stretch here are school - time for overdrive, super discipline, etc.

Talent Development

Yesterday I played softball with some gals and fellows from my church - a good bunch, if you ask me.

I'm not very good at softball, and as I profoundly stated to my dad, "I don't like to be bad at things." I require practice to become good at most "things," and there are a number of such "things" I'd like to work on.

See, here's part of the problem with my life heretofore: I've been so focused on school that I haven't really done much else (oh, great, now you all know what a boring person I am! :) ). I mean, I've done a few things but I haven't developed any expertise to speak of.

A plan of action is in order. How shall I combat my sad lack of talent?

Hmmm... I'd like to take voice, violin, and piano lessons; hone my writing skills and publish a book (even illustrate it myself - no Poser characters, Dad :)); write a meaningful and harmonious song. Maybe I should join a quartet, a classical-singing choir, an intramural softball team.

I don't want to become more self-centered, but I do think it's good for people to be able to "do things."

Horse Power

This morning I went to the 39th Annual Draft Horse Plowing Exhibition in Beaverton. The OSU Draft Horse Club planned to have a table there to raise awareness of our club (donations naturally in mind), and I went to support CB in the endeavor.

CB and I left our poster at the table to speak for itself, and went off to the plowing field. Y' know, I don't think I'd seen horses plow before. It's neat how the plows are made to dig into the soil with (seemingly) little effort from the plowman - the point and angle of the plow must redirect some of the horizontal force applied by the horses (like gravity (which supplies force only in a vertical direction) pulling an object down an inclined plane (motion that has both horizontal and vertical elements)). There were five or more teams on the field - a mule pair, a tri-some of drafts, a pair of Belgians, etc. Most of the plows were a walk-behind style.

Something fun about events like that is you get people who are excited about a subject. One of the plowmen was a teacher from Salem, and he was telling us about the harnesses on his mules - the bridles were from WWI, he could have used burlap bagging for the back strap, etc. People are also more prone to engage in conversation with unknown people - e.g an elderly English lady who told me about driving a pony and trap to get food during "the war."

It's neat when people keep the old ways "alive" - it would be sad to lose the technology and know-how it took years to accumulate. Horse power is also a sustainable energy source (although I know most people regard it as impractical) and there is value in the connection to Creation it supplies. While I would have to be pretty insane to sell my car and buy a chaise and four, I think modern societies miss something by not keeping draft/carriage animals.

He Left the Church in a Huff

This, a poem I wrote years ago and gave a major overworking today. It's probably a kind of bad idea to write something over the span of seven years... writing styles change, etc... but oh, well.

He Left in a Huff

A man left the church in a huff —
No one agreed, no one could see.
"I’ll never return, never look back,"
He vowed as he pounded his knee.

In search of more suitable folks
He drove the contiguous states.
All was the same – the terrible bad,
Most horrible, infamous traits.

He signed to go on a mission –
He didn’t know where else to go.
But again was found such notable bad,
His self proclaimed "No, no!"

His ideas were spent –
He must have tried all -
And yet, hadn’t found
A church without fall.

"I’ll just have to worship alone,"
He reasoned one Sunday at home.
"If no one is right, then it won’t help
To continually wander and roam."

He took up his Bible –
Where it fell to he read:
"You strain gnats from your tea…
But your mercy is dead."

His eyes stopped in their tracks,
"I’ve been swallowing yaks!"
Water true light refracts
In poor cisterns with cracks.

"I may not see clearly
What others think true,
But it could be I’m wrong -
I’ve not stood in their shoe.

"I’ll return to the church
I left in such wrath.
I’ll labor in love,
On a mutual path."

He packed his bags
And caught a plane.
He returned to his church
And there remained.

Prophecy

We talked a bit about prophecy yesterday at the Bible study (probably because of the role the Holy Spirit plays in that spiritual gift). I mentioned that the amount of prophecy that occurs today seems rather small - those who think they are prophesying are usually fakes (i.e. those who said that Christ would return in the Y2K). Dr. A mentioned something to the effect that prophecy also includes those occasions where people feel a need to pray for someone. That was a definite twist on how I've been used to understand prophecy - took my mind a bit to wrap around the concept - but the added dimension just might work. I guess if God urged me to pray for someone, he would do so before the final danger had been realized. I would therefore have knowledge of the need before it fulminated, even if it was only a few seconds before...
Well, I'll have to research that idea a bit. If the new proposed dimension to prophecy is true, then prophecy does occur fairly often in the US. Hmm, maybe I have even benefited from it.)

***
Without expanding my usual definition of prophecy, I suppose it may occur more if we relied more on God. Those who really need the protection a look into the future would provide may currently receive prophecies more often (eg those in anti-Christian countries).

Perhaps listening to the Spirit would become a larger part of my life if I heeded more inklings that pop into my brain. However, I am reticent to do so because I think a lot of them are just the result of my brain's workings. The more I followed through with those inklings, the more my brain would create them and I could soon be a neurotic, obsessive compulsive mess. On the other hand, it is important to not quench the Spirit... Perhaps I shouldn't worry about this much. Maybe it would be very clear to me if I actually had received an inkling from the Spirit, maybe I would have very little doubt, would follow through with it, and all would be good. More to think about...

Catchin' Y'all Up

I know I have something to say... wait a minute...

Anesthesia lab... we got to anesthetize a dog and monitor it during surgery. I actually enjoyed it - it's great to become more familiar with the procedures that characterize the veterinary profession. "Anesthesia is an art" - so said Mosley, and I think I kind of understand.

Yesterday I attended a talk about veterinary work in Thailand (complete with some sort of curry/rice dish - another reminder that I ought to expand my cooking repertoire). Found it interesting... they wash and resterilize surgical gloves, which is pretty much unheard of around here. Because most Thai people are Buddhist, they rarely euthanize animals but rather give them palliative care - a rather "foreign" concept.

Today I created a prime teaching opportunity for Dr. Gustafson. LO and I were putting a hard cast on one of those fake dog suture practice legs. We were using this premade casting material (fiberglass?) that you soak in water and then wrap around the leg - the water interacts with the stuff in the casting material, creating an exothermic reaction and allowing the cast to set. Well, I was half done with the first layer of casting material when I realized that we hadn't added extra cast padding around the top (toward the "scapula") and over the elbow. I was not content to leave it that way - I mean, the finished product wouldn't have been exactly the way we were told to do it and this was counting as a quiz. Even if Dr. Gustafson couldn't have told that we had left those parts out, I wouldn't have felt right about it in case the correctness of the cast was part of the grade. So I said "we forgot the cast padding. We can still add it." (I was a bit concerned that it would take too long to fix our mistake and the casting material would be messed up. But one should always make an effort to fix mistakes - not give up before all has been tried, etc - well, not really, but anyway...) Lori jumped to it, added some cast padding, and I proceeded with wrapping the material. It got harder and harder to unroll and apply. We were half way down the leg the second time when the material gave up the ghost and we had to admit defeat. Most of the casting material didn't even harden around the leg - ughh. :)
Gustafson used our error as a demo to the rest of the class in what happens when the casting material doesn't cement together. It was fine of him to do that - kind of funny, actually - and my familiarity with making mistakes has left me with little embarrassment in the face of such scenarios. I think it would be better to be more disturbed... Maybe it would make me apply my brain a little better. :)

Tonight I plan to attend a Bible study/discussion about the Holy Spirit - it should be good.

Transportation Methods

Wakeboarding is the most common cause of death from carbon monoxide poisoning. - Dr. Cope

Speaking of which, here's a picture of my recently-wed wakeboarder cousin - we were un-inhibited by such worries that day:



I don't have a picture of his wife yet.

***

I find that my driving changes according to what I'm thinking about - eg, if I'm imagining some situation where I'd have to swerve or slow down to save myself, I might start veering toward the edge of the road or slowing down. Am I alone in such tendencies?

***

This is Matt, mi hermano (I'll get a better picture of him up here soon). There really should be a law against brothers leaving their sisters and living for extended periods in Pennsylvania. It is not conducive to great felicity for the left behind. :)

Abattoirs: An Inside Look

{If you'd rather not read about animal slaughter, don't read this.}

Today in public health we watched a couple videos about Excell slaughter and meat packing operations. It was quite the eye opener, left me with a mixture of thoughts.

I don't have a problem with killing animals, but the mass production aspect did not seem to grant animals due respect (not that they have rights to such respect - it just seems that we should accord it to God's creatures). The cattle are unloaded from trailers, channeled into narrow passageways, crammed into a holding pen where they are washed with water - none of which is all that bad. Once the animals are cleaned they are stunned with an air-gun (this makes the rest of the procedure more humane - but can you imagine a job shooting cows all day long? It seems like it would mess you up psychologically.), strung up by one leg and carried along on a track. Not all of the animals are one hundred percent out of it, but hang there jerking a bit. The carotid artery is slit and then the carcasses are jolted with electricity to improve marbling, as they hang dead from the track.
Shortly, the hides are removed - stick a bar in between the back skin and pull up, taking the skin off that side. Then imagine a cow hide being peeled off and over its head - it just seemed wrong.

So maybe I'm just a pathetically, unreasonably sympathetic female. Most of what bothered me didn't hurt the animals - it just didn't seem right. Maybe I anthropomorphosize too much - but there could be some principle at stake. If there is, perhaps a partial return to small farms would be in order (that, of course, would be more fun for a vet, so you see I have selfish reasons, too :) ).

What's sort of funny is that a fish operation like that wouldn't bother me nearly as much. Somehow I draw a line between fish and mammals - or maybe the difference lies in the animal size. That seems sort of hypocritical - it's not really fair to the fish.

In addition to being shocked/disgusted, I was also duly amazed. Watching these guys rapidly cutting up carcasses (they were fast!) and wondering how often they cut themselves, observing the special machinery for each part of the meat production operation, visualizing the enormity of the establishment and thinking about the impetus and drive that was behind it - yeah, I was pretty impressed...

Impressed, but I still can't imagine myself grading carcasses 8 hours a day - not me, no way.

Patience for the Spastic

I have known for quite a while that I have little innate patience for spastic or misbehaving animals. Part of it is the power struggle - I want living creatures to bend to my will. Part of it (in the case of the spastic) is frustration at something with poor apparent intelligence.

I had little akin to love for the teaching dog I was trying to do a neuro exam on today. I was attempting to do a pupillary light response test (shine light in the animal's eye, see if the pupil constricts) and the canid kept pulling back its head. Attempt a reflex check on a foreleg, and the dog kept trying to get out of my assistant's grasp. I guess it regarded me as an evil torturer, some frightening being with only death in my plans for it. Well, not before I started, but after... naw, I'm joking - but my charitable emotions were taxed and depleted more than normal.

I don't suppose I am required to like or even agape-love animals. However, I think that anger at anything is wrong if allowed to persist (and if frustration/anger toward animals becomes a habit, it may transfer over to humans).

There are some areas of my life where I have recognized failure and badly wanted the opportunity to be faced with the issue again, soon, so I could practice doing things right and prove to myself/others that I had improved. As for the matter at hand, it looks like I will have ample opportunity to practice quelling anger and being patient. Our teaching dogs, crazy client-owned animals, the clients themselves...

Things Are Not What They Appear

Sometimes appearances may indicate one thing when in reality something close to the opposite is true. This may lead to unfair accolades directed toward the person of importance.

An un-informed observer may have assumed I was really on top of things today. We were scheduled to perform neuro exams on dogs, and at the beginning of lab Dr. Blythe asked how many of us brought reflex hammers. I had, so I raised my hand. Ah, overachiever Claire, eh?

Not quite. The reflex hammer has been in my backpack, well, maybe since neurology class winter of 2004. So, you may applaud me for not removing it from my backpack, for realizing that it was a good thing to keep handy. But any praise for "on top of it"-ness would be misplaced.

Html-ing

I've been messing around with html, trying to make my webpage from scratch as opposed to the wysiwyg editor (Microsoft Publisher) I initially used.
Knowing that such editors create more code than is necessary, I wanted to decrease the amount for my page - and it looks very promising. It is quite amazing how much code Publisher produces to make a very simple page. For my home page it created 24 pages of code. My recreation of a very similar page resulted in less than a page of sparse code. (To see for yourself, right-click on the background of each page and go down to "View Source.")
I am anticipating some hang-ups in recreating the picture layouts on certain pages. I might have to finagle some things a bit to get them right, or - I hope not - settle for less.

Regarding Spending...

Zie epidemiology test ist done. From what I've heard, most of my classmates didn't like it very well. If their sentiments match their performance (which probably isn't the case - mine rarely do), the average could be handy for setting a merciful curve.

Last night Dr. Kit Flowers from Christian Veterinary Mission spoke to a number of us about their short term missions opportunities, etc. I'd like to do something like that, one of these days, but money is currently a issue.

Historically, I have been very frugal - I have had a hard time justifying the spending of money "for that which is not bread" or books. Those tendencies, though diminished, remain and are now compounded by a lack of money. I'm currently trying to learn the balance between not going way into debt and actually "doing things" in life. For instance, if I wait until I have money, I may not visit my brother or do any major "frivolous" activity for perhaps three years. There's a lot to be said for "unnecessary" activities that expand opportunities, connections, and relationships. Hence, to wait three years, years when I am footloose with freedom to roam the earth, seems a great shame. (And I know I usually regret more the things I don't do than the things I do.)

We shall see where such thinking leads me.

Logical Diagnosis

Epidemiology is actually pretty neat (good thing I'm posting now and not 1 am tonight after reading the text book for ?? hours!). While typically thought of in relation to population medicine, it also addresses the logic of formulating a diagnosis.

You can assess the pre-test probability that an animal has a certain disease from the prevalence of the disease in the population. Once you have tested the animal, you still don't know if it has the disease - diagnostic tests are not 100% sensitive nor 100% specific, so the test result could be a false positive or false negative. The sensitivity (percent of true positives that are picked up by the test) and specificity (percent of true negatives that are counted negative by the test) values, coupled to the disease prevalence, can indicate the post-test probability that the animal has the disease.

It's neat to incorporate a bit of probability into diagnosis - it seems like a vet could be more successful with that approach (although I have a feeling few employ such methods).

The Tea Time Tale

There's one part of me that enjoys the rugged outdoors - caving, climbing, camping, canoeing. But I also like carnations and china and class. It was really nice to attend the annual Brownsville Mennonite Church mother-daughter occasion last evening - my own mother was even there, having driven all the way from Portland after a busy day of teaching, etc (10 cheers!).

The evening was characterized by a couple speakers, tea time trivia, special singing (including a couple Troyers, if I am not completely mistaken (which is a significant possibility)), eating feminine fare, and speaking with pleasant people. SS properly labelled me as nervous (initially) - I'll have to work against such a tendency. But really, I did have an enjoyable time.
We were encouraged to take time for tea, which translates into taking time for people. It was a really good reminder, and I hope I make use of it. When I do take time for them, I should learn to express proper concern and interest each time (I may often care once I've taken time to think, but sometimes what the other person says takes a little time to sink in and by then I've answered with less than proper feeling).

(One thing about tea parties is that they aren't particularly controversial - unless you wanted to debate whether a party can really be a 'tea party' when the beverage is other than the watery plant-based mixture, or whether it is really fine to brew the tea in water less than 373.15 Kelvin. I view each of those as moot points and will not pursue them (you sigh in relief as your heart ceases to palpitate - "please, Claire, no more long diatribes about things we don't care a whit about").)

Overall, a pleasant experience and a nice change from school and...

...well...

...blogging.

Transatlantic Summons

It's May again and as I studied anesthesia yesterday morning I began my second annual "it's time to go to Europe" phase. I don't suppose it's necessarily ingrained in me, this strong May desire to be in Europe. It's probably just that I know I went to Europe once two years ago, and had a pleasant enough experience to want to return.

Riding the subways, roaming the cities with my brother, the tunes played before announcements in subway stations, staying in an apartment in Berlin and walking solo through that part of the city (kind of unwise), riding the funicular to the top of a ridge near Zakopane, Poland (just my brother and I), listening to the Takacs Quartet in Budapest, talking to three Polish youths (okay, it's kind of an unflattering picture) about religion - it was a good time.

Europe beckons - perhaps I shall return.

Tid Bit

I've been up since about 1:06 am (marathon anesthesia studying, like I said). Strangely, I'm doing okay - maybe it worked to sleep Sunday afternoon, kind of saving up sleep.

I didn't study on Sunday because I could have pulled the sheep out of the ditch on Saturday and there seemed to be a potential way around the sheep completely dying.

Unexpected Listener

Driving home from school on Saturday, I was listening to a couple CDs. True to form, I was also singing along (down low, up high, whatever). My cell phone sat innocently (as far as I knew) on the passenger seat.

Upon arriving home...
Dad: Thanks for the serenade.
Me: Serenade? I don't think I was singing much when I came up to the house - I probably did a little bit, but I didn't think it was much to hear.
Dad: Oh, it was about 30 minutes ago.
Me: What? (Confused, but thinking that surely I knew what I was talking about and Dad was mistaken, because I had just arrived home.)
Dad: I was listening to you on the phone for quite a while. I called your name a number of times. You were singing along with some choir.
Me: Oh, my cell phone must have called you.

And I guess that is really what happened. It would have been a prime opportunity for Dad to make up some embarrassing statement that I theoretically made while talking to myself in the car, but he had mercy on me.
It's a good thing my parents' number is the only one programmed to dial after punching a single number on my phone. Perhaps I will leave it that way. Next time I might be saying more than song words - the deep secrets of my life, or who knows what...

Necessity

I need to do some marathon anesthesia studying tonight and Monday morning. Guess I should head home and get at it.

Which Rights are Right?

Yesterday's topic for ethics class was animal rights. Before the speaker began her lecture she drew a line on the white board. At one end was "Full moral rights, as for an adult human," at the other end was "No moral rights." She asked us to place the following somewhere on the continuum: day old human, lizard, chicken, horse, dog. Thankfully, the day old human got top priority. Other than that, there was quite a bit of inconsistency regarding the placement of the other animals. The horse was placed at 3/4 rights, the chicken at 1/2 rights, the family dog at full rights (according to one person). It seemed to make a difference whether the animal was feral or domestic.

I was sitting there commenting to my neighbor and getting worked up. I disagreed pretty strongly with the placement of animals of the continuum.

According to care ethics, an animal has more rights if I care about it more (e.g. pet rat vs lab rat). I think if animals do have moral rights, then those rights are not based on the purpose of the animal. It doesn't matter if it's a wild horse in Eastern Oregon or a million dollar race horse. If they have rights, they have equal rights. Pigs do not have less rights than the family dog just because they are being raised to be eaten. (Maybe it's similar to the love-like difference. I should not treat a person better just because I like them. I should treat all men with equal respect because I agape-love them.) If slave owners ever concerned themselves with ethics, perhaps they employed a form of care ethics. Ultimately, they accorded their slaves less rights than their own children because of the position of those slaves which was in a way related to how much the owners cared about them. In reality, there was nothing intrinsically different between their children and the slaves to justify different treatment of them.
Anyway, if you're going to grant animals moral rights, by all means do it fairly.

Now, do animal have rights? “Right” may be properly defined as: “a power, privilege, or condition of existence to which one has a natural claim of enjoyment or possession.” I have a hard time saying that something purely physical (as I currently believe animals to be) can have a claim to something. If an animal does not have a non-physical self, what is there to grant “rights” to? Things purely physical do not have intrinsic value because there is no entity about them that is separate from the rest of creation. It seems that something must have intrinsic value to have rights. (People, on the other hand, are important as individuals because they are made in the image of God and have eternal spirits. They therefore have moral rights.)

There is, however, a definition of “right” that does not take into account the intrinsic value of a being. “It is the notion that a “right” is the flip side of a moral imperative. If, ethically, we must refrain from an act performed on a being, then that being can be said to have a “right” that the act not be performed.”* Hence, if I can show that I should be merciful to animals, then animals have a right to mercy. (And yet I still balk from using the word “right” in that context – it implies to me some intrinsic value about the animal that I do not believe to necessarily exist.) Well, should I treat animals with mercy? A few verses on the subject:

“Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? And one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father.” - Matthew 10:29

“A righteous man regardeth the life of his beast: but the tender mercies of the wicked are cruel.” Proverbs 12:10

“The Lord is good to all: and his tender mercies are over all his works.” Psalm 145:9

“He giveth to the beast his food, and to the young ravens which cry.” Psalm 147:9

Yes, I think I should.

How far do animal rights extend (rights according to the second definition)? Because God has authorized the killing and eating of animals, they do not have the right to life. God has not condemned the domestication of animals, so they do not have the right of freedom. It seems that they have the right to not suffer at our hands and the right to proper care if we are responsible for them, but their rights do not extend much farther.

Enjoy It While It Lasts

A few days ago I was at Linn-Benton Community College for the first time. I planned to meet a friend there, and went a couple hours early to study. The change of environment was welcome and I probably focused better than I do at vet school. (Hm, they actually "observe quiet" in the library at LBCC.)

It occurred to me that it was sort of strange for me to be on a community college campus. And eventually I began to become nostalgic and somewhat sad. Community college students are at the beginning of their educational careers. They have (if they so choose) a great expanse of education laid before them - interesting classes from a variety of disciplines, neat teachers, neat field trips, etc. Me? Well, I'm nearing the end - two more years to go, not much in the way of novel concepts after this year, and I'll be out in the real world - maybe plugging away at some job, getting bored with the monotony of vaccines and physical exams and etc.*
I hope my horizons are brighter than that, but whatever I end up doing I have been challenged to make the most of my last two school years.



* (Or maybe I'll think about this enough that I'll decide to stay in academia, pursuing research or something...)

Communication in Time of Illness

Being sick adversely affects communication.

People have a hard enough time understanding me under normal circumstances. Pitch my voice down, reduce the decibels, and people really can't understand me. Yesterday I was leaving school and saw one of my professors (dialogue has been recreated with questionable accuracy, but you'll get the main idea). "Hi, Claire." "Hi, Dr. --." "How are you doing?" "Oh, okay," (said in a low and croaking manner). "What?" "I'm all right." Professor looks at me with kindness/possible concern but lack of recognition on his face. "I'm sick, that's why you can't understand me."

That leads to another issue - it's depressing and not very delightful to say "I'm sick" - and yet I don't want to lie. So I've tried a couple other things: "Oh, I'm surviving." "It'll be better in a few days." "I'm doing."

Those methods don't always work. I've received comments like "You're only surviving?" or "Oh, do you have tests these days?" and then I end up saying after all that I am sick.

Any good ideas for my predicament?

Remember Love

"We hate what he [God] hates, but we have forgotten how to love." -- Bro. James Roth, Sunday morning when speaking of the Ephesians (Revelation 2) who had lost their first love.

Outward obedience to the "thou shalt not"s may often be easier than outward obedience to the "thou shalts." It is easy to have no obvious idols in my house, harder to go lend a hand or an ear to my "neighbor."
Inward obedience may be similar. It may be easier to not covet my neighbor's house than it is to really, truly love my neighbor as (or more than) I love myself. (I am here referring to agape love, which I will define as a heart-based desire for the absolute good of another even at my own expense. This love is not based on spontaneous feelings that arise from my perception of good in a person. It will be present no matter what a person does or is.) Now, I wonder if the difference in ease has something to do with the power required to not covet as compared to the power required to really, truly from the bottom of my heart love my neighbor. Through psychological methods with no special power from God I could probably train myself to not desire my neighbor's house. I could make up thoughts about how it wasn't worth much anyway, how it would take forever to clean, etc and gradually learn to not want it. Could I use such psychological methods to begin to love my neighbor? Unconditional love is not based on what/who a person is; it is entirely absent from any perception of personal benefit. It seems that the ability to agape-love another comes only from God. This is supported by Scripture as follows:

"Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and everyone that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God." I John 4:7
"By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another." John 13:35
"God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him." I John 4:16b

For one to truly love, they must be a child of God. They must tap into God's power and avail themselves of his spiritual blessings - and that doesn't seem to come naturally.