Sacrificial Experimentation

In anesthesiology lab we watched a documentary ("Strange Sleep," broadcast in 1974 by NOVA) about the history of anesthesia. I usually think of the 1800's as being fairly civilized and old novels don't normally go into details about medical procedures. It is therefore interesting (and sort of tragic) to think that in the mid-1800's anesthesia was still in its infancy. Surgeries were likely still performed using "brutamine," as my professor called restraint by brute force. The germ theory of disease wasn't really investigated until the same time period - imagine an intra-abdominal surgery with unwashed hands! I can really appreciate the work that led to today's anesthetics and sterile surgical technique.

Very sadly, some of the scientists who investigated the use of anesthetics became addicted to them. The dentist Horace Wells became addicted to chloroform after experimenting with it for a week. He ended up slitting his femoral artery and dying because of his addiction. The surgeon William Halsted became addicted to cocaine because of his experimentation and/or lack of knowledge about addiction (I think the documentary indicated that he used cocaine to stay awake for lengthy periods). He "managed" his addiction by taking large quantities of morphine (while he still performed surgeries!).

Were those incredibly unfortunate addictions easily preventable back then, or were they inevitable because of limited knowledge about addiction? I realize that hindsight is about always better than foresight. But it seems that those with a tendency toward introspection and realization of what was happening to them could have guarded successfully against it. Christians in particular should have known better than to seek things that caused a false euphoria ("and be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the spirit;" Ephesians 5:18). I suppose cocaine might be more addictive than wine, but perhaps knowledge of preventing alcohol addiction could have been applied to the cocaine situation.

Hello, Lecture Hall

I'm back in school and I like it,
gonna work and work a lot.
I'm back in school and I like it,
I'll remember what I'm taught.

The friends are neat,
the teacher's sweet,
I know I'll mind the rules.
I'm gonna learn a lot, 'cause I like school.

I know that
school is rough -
if you wanna learn,
you gotta be tough.

The kids that work
the hardest you see,
can be anything
that they want to be.

-Another song by my dad, Mark Varney (I imagine I got part of it wrong).

I commenced spring term today. It's a blue whale of a load: principles of surgery, general medicine, toxicology, principles of anesthesia, ethics, veterinary medicine & public health, and epidemiology.
Toxicology will be intense, but I think I'll like the subject matter. Medicine and surgery are very much related to actual clinical practice, which is exciting. Epidemiology, public health, and ethics will be an interesting break from the usual vet med classes. I'm not sure what to think of anesthesia yet, but I'm a bit of a fan of physiology so it could be pretty good.

Internal Revenue

I finished my taxes today. It seemed sort of weird to be paying money to such an organization as the US — as if I am somehow a benefit to something so great. I guess that's a twisted way to view taxes — it's more accurate to consider that I benefit from the US and owe a small sum in return. But nonetheless, I suppose I am of some actual though small monetary value to the country.

Land and Gold

I used to think about the Oregon Trail travelers and the 49ers without much if any criticism. There's a lot to admire in the Oregon Trail people - setting out on a 180 day journey, going 1,700 miles mostly on foot, anticipating hard work to establish homesteads in a somewhat wild land. Thinking about it recently, however, it seems like it was highly un-Christian to invade a land and establish lifestyles that clashed with those of the native Americans. They entered and took the upper hand - conversely, they should have only entered the land contingent on a welcome from the Indians. They should have led lives expressive of great gratitude to the Indians for allowing them to coinhabit the land. The Indians should have been viewed as the benefactors, the top dogs, the ones with the true rights to the land.

I enjoy the history of the Gold Rush era - the mining equipment, buildings, stories, etc. I realize that some men likely had upright, unselfish goals for improving their family situations. In spite of that, however, the whole Gold Rush basically revolved around money and wordly success (I mean, a job mining for [gold]). Our lives can be that way, too, but sometimes it's harder to see because the quest for money is hidden to some extent by the filler - the electrician job, the veterinary services, etc. The job is fine, earning money if fine - but we should take heed to the motives behind the job and money.
Interestingly, two motives for working may be diametrically opposed and yet yield esentially the same result. You could work hard for money's sake and prosper (and serve yourself), or you could strive to be industrious because you want to serve society and exercise discipline, etc, and also come out on top (giving God the praise, not being proud about it and using the money for the good of others).

Just Give it a Go

Sometimes it is wise to dive into a plan without first proving it to have a very low probability of ending in failure or disaster. If people never made those leaps into territories of uncertain success and uncertain danger, a lot of important things would never be done. They could wait a while to prove the reasonability of an action, but while waiting they may lose their vision for the plan, or may lose courage to commence it. Furthermore, in some circumstances I think it's impossible to know if something will work without trying it. Imagination, followed by initiative and lack of fear will get things done. In "The Wheel on the School," the children were quick about commencing their search for a wheel - they didn't let imagined disapproval from others, nor thoughts about the impossiblity of finding a wheel in unlikely places get in the way. They began their search promptly and received quick results. If they'd waited a week longer, they might have missed the opportunity to have storks in their town that summer.
Those who traveled the Oregon Trail in the mid-1800's knew there were risks - if they had thought it necessary to prove before embarking the low possibility of any of them dying on the way they would have had to wait until the railroad was laid.
Sort of related is a concept I heard in a Gold Rush documentary on Thursday. The Gold Rush involved many failing people and is thought to have produced in California a tolerance for failure, which in turn has been key to the prosperity of various Californian industries.

"The slothful man saith, There is a lion in the way; a lion is in the streets." Proverbs 26:13 (We can always think of something to keep us from action.)

Keep your head about you, but…
Take risks. Dive into the unknown. Invade uncharted territories. There may be failure, but I think success will be the net result.

Solo Flight

I survived my potentially foolish solo trip to Mark & Enid Boss's in John Day, OR. I suppose it is well I didn't check the weather before beginning on Tuesday - if I had known it was going to snow near Sisters I might not have attempted it. All was well that ended well, though my stomach turned to a knot while considering the snow at hand and the snow that I thought might be in the future (I thought I was more adventurous than that!). My worry diminished as I shakily sang "Sing noel, sing noel, noel, no-el-l-l" along with the St. Olaf choir.

Tuesday evening my friend Vanessa and I went down to the Gambler Veterinary Clinic — I know the new vet from vet school. While there I got to see part of a cesarean section on a cow - the first I have observed.
Wednesday morning V and I went to a sheep ranch and observed a sheep C-section. Yes, I am a vet student and things like that interest me. The sheep was too small and the lamb was a single - hence the required surgery.
That evening we sang a song at prayer meeting - something sad and nostalgic about the passing moments of our lives, the children that are now, etc. I think the main idea was that we have this moment to live and love and should make the most of it. If I can find the lyrics I'll post them.
Thursday: 5.5 hours in the Baker City Oregon Trail Interpretive Center; consisted of meeting the Clackamas County representative Mac Sumner (he initiated a short conversation upon seeing my home town on the guest registry); reading Oregon Trail info; watching three documentaries (about the Trail, the Gold Rush, the Lewis & Clark expedition) and one presentation (about fur trappers). One of the speakers on the Gold Rush video spoke of the freedom of anonymity as experienced by the men who left the East and went to CA. It seems like when one is "anonymous" and absent from their authorities their true colors show through. One will know better the true quality of a youth once he has been on his own for a time.
More snow that afternoon, but thankfully not enought to snow me in.

I drove home Friday, taking Hwy 19 up through Fossil, Spray, etc. I amused myself with "A Tale of Two Cities" tapes and appreciated again Dicken's dry sense of humor, fabulous literary style with fabulous figures of speach - the blue flies, the lunch of rust, Jeremy Cruncher's spiky hair, the sheer stupidity of living like the French king (four men to serve him his chocolate!), the absolute lack of regard for the humanity of the paupers, the sheer inhumanity of the marquis - especially if we think with C.S. Lewis that one is not perfectly human unless they are seeking after God or have their focus on him and his attributes.

Past Comdon I viewed farm land atop hills — seemed like so many bald men with hair tufts encircling their heads.

A stretch on hwy. 84, a stint down 205 and 99E. Home at last!

Final Grades, Plans for the Future

I had probably the shakiest grade situation ever (for me) going into finals, but it turned out well. Whooptidoo!

I hope I've been scared enough to work my tail off early in the term next time, and not require myself to undergo such stress. I've got other plans for superior applications of discipline. Like getting up early to exercise, etc...

But for now I'm off to John Day for furthered stress reduction and mind rejuvenation.

Spring Break I

Vacation — glorious, almost responsibility-free vacation.

It's vacation, and yet my activities remain related in some concrete or abstract fashion to my veterinary goals. Even relaxing is in preparation for the anticipated grind.

I've been reading "The Wheel on the School" by Meindert DeJong. It's a Newberry Medal winner, so I was curious to analyze it from that point of view, see if I could figure out what garnered it such an honor. I think I've figured it out a little. The author gives colorful, wisecracking personalities to some of the characters. And they had impetus, they weren't shy and grovelling and unwilling to step out of their comfort zones. Some of the happenings are down right goofy and imaginative - the author allowed his imagination to fly and really didn't rein it in significantly (how's that for a mixed metaphor - or maybe Pegasus would fit there?), apart from keeping the book within the realms of the possible. The author had a keen understanding of normal, slightly spontaneous and off-the-wall people. And yet what really stands out is the whole plot and the results of the main story. It starts out with a school day in a town in Holland, and the spontaneous teacher and his six students get started on this idea about getting storks to nest in their town (Shora). He encourages them to dream, and see where it takes them - and that is what the book is about. The dream of bringing storks to Shora leads to relationships kindled with two elderly people in the town, who were previously regarded as unimportant by the school children. A legless man of whom the children had stood in terror becomes a friend of them and their Dream; his life receives new meaning and he even shows up at church. One of the boys helps a tinman keep his wagon wheel together on the tinman's way home, and manages a swap of the beat up tinman's wheel with a sturdy, patriotically painted wheel that an unfriendly man had been planning to put on his house - the swap of the wheels sent each wheel to a place where it could serve the best. The Dream got the seafaring fathers involved in another aspect of their children's lives.
Would I recommend the book? Probably not for children unless accompanied by discussion of the non-Christian values present in the book.


Last evening (Sunday) at church the children were invited forward and asked to pick songs they wanted to sing. And they chose songs like "Building Up the Temple," "12 Men Went to Spy out Canaan," "Jesus Loves the Little Children" — right? Wrong. They chose "Give Me Thy Heart," "All Hail to Thee, Immanuel," etc. No "Children's Songs," even though they were encouraged that they could choose choruses, that the songs didn't have to be from the hymnals. It reminded me of my song preferences as a child (I did not appreciate songs like "This is My Father's World," "Trust and Obey," etc - they were way too commonplace and/or had simplistic tunes.), and made me wonder if the song preferences adults assume children to have are largely fallacious. Maybe most children appreciate the variety and complexity of "big people's songs."

I wonder how much I will have forgotten about my childhood preferences by the time and if I ever have children. I hope I will be able to understand them and not be disconnected from their patterns of reasoning. And yet time is moving on, years are separating the present me from my childhood. Maybe I should write childhood remembrances now to read in the future and remind myself of how I thought.

Finis

What came to mind was "Hallelujah, 'tis done!" - but I think that's sort of sacriligious. I have held for a time that I really should learn some Shakepeare so that I will not be as prone to use Bible and hymn quotes about situations completely unrelated to the original meaning. Unfortunately, it might just increase the total number of quotes coming into my head and do very little to decrease the use of Bible quotes for non-Bible-related situations.

Anyway, finals are done. I completed my diagnostic imaging exam this morning around 11 am and have since enjoyed a calm sense of freedom from school responsibilities. I am still awaiting my grades in three classes...

I've been killing time, babysitting the library with practically nobody present, getting paid to sit there and do whatever I want (which for a while consisted of typing up some of my old writings). It's fun to see the weird stuff I wrote five years ago... I thought I might share a little, one particular poem that made me laugh, but somehow I think it might not have the same effect on the rest of you all.
Oh, wait, I appreciated the twist in this four-liner (and it demonstrates some of the awkward wording that is characteristic of many of my poems - to some extent the result of trying to get stuff to have correct rhyme and rhythm):

Go to the sluggard, though weary ant
Consider his ways and be glad
That God made your will exuberant
Though meager fared and thinly clad.

That'll do for now.

(Situational?) Ethics

In pharmacology class yesterday, we were taught about ethics. The speaker's opinion was that actions can fall into at least two categories: legal/ethical, legal/unethical, illegal/ethical, and illegal/unethical. He thought the pharmacy licensing board in CA would be okay with illegal/ethical actions.

Is it ever right for a Christian to disobey the law when ethics would point in that direction? Is it right to drive over the speed limit to get a dying person to the hospital? Would it be right to dispense anti-seizure medication (without a prescription) to someone visiting the area who lost their medication (the scenario presented by the speaker)?

Is it valid in such a case to follow the spirit of the law as opposed to the letter? Obviously lawmakers would really not desire to have someone die because I was unwilling to disobey the law.
On the other hand, the Bible might indicate that I should obey the government in everything as long as it doesn't conflict with my Christian calling. Allowing someone to die is not as bad, I suppose, as killing them myself.

Another question regards the term "situational ethics." Is that what I would be guilty of if I illegally dispensed medication when the situation seemed to call for it? If so, are situational ethics wrong? Or are they just tailoring my ethics properly to a given scenario? My set of ethics would not change, but rather my behavior.

Hand Springs and Serotonin

The weather these days makes me want to do hand springs on the way to my car. It's hard to remain "down" for very long.
You know how we're supposed to be content in whatever state we are, and I suppose that's part of why I semi-deceive myself that the cold and winter is great. I do honestly enjoy cold more than some people, but sunlight has a greater positive effect on my serotonin levels.

I'm off to CS's house - looking forward to extensive conversations.

Determining Truth

Last Thursday night I heard a lesson about epistemology as relates to apologetics. How do I know what is the truth? It is not right to assume that what I have been taught from my youth up is correct. It is important for me to analyze my beliefs and determine that they are the correct beliefs to hold. It is not comfortable to break away from the belief systems one has followed all his life, but if a born-in Hindu never doubted his religion, he would not reach truth. (Let me be clear that I do believe Christianity is correct - but my retention of the Faith has not been without much thought.)

The speaker (Kathleen Fast of Campus Ambassadors) outlined three main ways to arrive at truth: empiricism, rationalism, and mysticism.
Empiricism (ideally) does not start with any preconceptions but uses pure induction to determine truth from empirical data based on how they integrate.

Rationalism starts with "truth claims" and tests them using logic to see if they are consistent. If two axioms are mutually exclusive, they cannot both be true.

Mysticism is based on experiences.

It is possible that the entire truth may not be arrived at with certainty by using only one method. Never will the truth be disputed by one method and supported by another, but maybe not all methods prove the same thing. I use all three methods to support my faith.
I might tend to start with empiricism (obviously, I have some preconceived notions that probably color the way I view matters. But I ideally try to see what the facts point to.) and then use rationalism to test the axioms that empiricism produces. For instance, the facts of nature's existence point to a creator with great intelligence. You can test the idea of a creator producing nature by comparing it rationally to its antithesis: nature arose without a creator. Which makes more sense? That something created. One can accept the professed divinity of Jesus because of the facts of his resurrection and the miracles he performed. One can test Jesus' profession of divinity by regarding the other possibilities. For example:

"A man who was a great moral teacher and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher... Either this man was, and is, the Son of God: or else a madman or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to."(Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis, page 41)

Answers to prayer fall into the mystical category. For instance, once my mother and I baked and sent two boxes of bread to another family - my mother's reasoning was that they were busy and would be blessed by it. We found out later that they were in financially tight circumstances and had little food left in the house. One box of bread arrived the day after we sent it, and the second box arrived later. It seems that God had something to do with it, but I realize that others could dispute that claim. It's important to not base your whole faith on mystical experiences, because interpretations can easily lead astray.

Let me know if I am off-base on this.

Liberia

In November four men from my church went to Liberia to build a fence for a Christian Aid Ministries compound. Last night they showed pictures from their trip, and I went with James and Orpha to see them.
Christians should be missionaries in the US, and that's my position right now. But some day I'd like to do an overseas project - maybe long term, maybe not - maybe in a third world country, maybe in some large European city. Primarily, somewhere I could help make an impact (spiritually and maybe physically).

Environmental Sympathies

I am an environmentalist of sorts - not the tree-sitting, genetically modified crop - destroying type, but I definitely agree with some concerns of such extremists. I don't agree with animal rights people, but have certain sympathies regarding animal welfare.

God instructed Adam to subdue the earth, but we should also remember that when God created he followed each day by stating that what he made was good. I don't think he called his creation good while simultaneously desiring that man destroy it. I could wager that "subdue" should not be taken to its fullest extent.

Clearly, we have been given the authority to use the resources on this earth for proper purposes. However, I think it's really important to have the correct attitude about what we use. It is okay to chop trees down - I do not equate the value of trees with the value of my grandmother. But if we truly appreciate nature the way God wants us to, if we indeed realize for ourselves that what he made is very good (apart from the havoc sin's entrance wreaked on it), we will not desire to see a hillside that has been completely devoided of trees. We will not purchase gas-guzzling vehicles just for the sake of being "cool." We will not generate large quantities of trash to fill dumps that will not be diminished. We will seek different ways to do things that are environmentally friendly - even to the extent of paying more money to do so if our budgets allow. And those who think it doesn't matter what we do on the earth now because Christ is coming back soon... they should consider that while Christ's return is imminent, we do not know that he will return within the next hundred years.

I am by no means a PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) member and I believe it is right for humans to kill animals for food, to remove them if they are a nuisance to the economy (and that within reason), etc. However, I do not believe it is right for Christians to delight in destroying or torturing animals. In addition to whatever sentiments may carry over to our treatment of humans, it seems wrong to delight in the destruction of a creature God cares for.

Truth in Buddhism

Many (all?) religions contain elements of truth. It is logical that they would because humans have an intrinsic sense of morality and because false religions are (I suppose) produced by people who have knowledge of the Truth.
At Campus Ambassadors last Thursday I listened to a young Buddhist speak about his spiritual path. He seeks to listen to God (whom he defines as energy and not a personal being) through meditation. While he does not think there is any one correct dogma, his main basis for decisions seemed to be "do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
I agree with him on various levels. Introspection using common sense, observation of the world, and observation of one's own thought processes can lead to a good deal of wisdom. Additionally, God speaks to Christians when they commune with him in prayer. I suppose that God probably speaks to Buddhists who are truely seeking him - perhaps he would eventually lead them along their spiritual path to accept Christianity. The Golden Rule is definitely a Christian principle.

As religions go, Buddha did a pretty good job formulating his ideas - but he missed some key truths by not accepting Scripture as a revelation from God. God can be found through inwardly seeking him, but he also gave us his word (written and in flesh) that we may know truths that would not otherwise be clearly apparent to us. Eg, truths about the purpose of man, the relation of God to man, salvation of souls, the purpose of animals, eternal destiny, the creation of the world, etc.

Continued Chronicles

Did you know that "abattoir" means "slaughterhouse?" It was a new one on me.

I got one of the summer research positions in Biomedical Sciences! Worries about finding summer employment (aside from getting a second job) may now be laid aside.

I finished my last midterm today (in diagnostic imaging). I suppose more studying would have helped to some extent, but those abdominal radiographs can be just plain cryptic!

There are benefits to living part time with one's parents (weekends and breaks) and part time with another couple (James and Orpha Smucker during school weeks). I celebrated my birthday on Sunday with my parents, and yesterday Orpha went all out making another birthday dinner for me. She introduced a new dessert: beet carob cake. You might expect it to produce questionable gustatory sensations, but it really passed the test.